Apparently the key to the heart is laughter and with Valentine’s Day just around the corner, why not use that reason to write the cheesiest, funniest chat up lines in your Valentine’s card for your significant other, husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, a secret crush or a new partner to make them feel they are the best thing since sliced bread. Or even for a friend who needs a cheer up and would get a kick out of the comical nostalgia. Back in the day, these cards were full of rhymes and hilarious poems, even the envelope had S.W.A.L.K. (sealed with a loving kiss..fyi). And H.O.L.L.A.N.D. (Hope our love lasts and never dies..aww!)
Valentine’s Day is all about the smoochie romance and there’s nothing like telling someone you love or have a fancy for how into them you are so let your words say it for you with flirty, yet tongue in cheek verses and a little hint of innuendo. Don’t forget to sign it, “From your Valentine”, if you’re shy and it’s for a crush lol. Tap into the teenage you who made so much effort in choosing the perfect card for the perfect person at the time, while watching out for the poor postman nearly breaking his back with all the local deliveries. Good times! It’s allowed on this day to be as cringiest and rosemantic as you want, so here’s a few old school ones to get you started.
The old classic..
Roses are red
Violets are Blue
Sugar is sweet
And so are you. Ahh.. But then
Roses are Red,
Violets are black,
2 time me
and I’ll break your back!
Postman Postman do your duty,
send this to my blue eyed beauty
Up the ladder one, two, three..
If you fall, fall for me
Plenty of love, tons of kisses,
I hope someday to be your missus
I wish I was a cabbage
Divided into two
The leaves I’d give to others
But the heart I’d give to you
Roses are Red
Daffodils are yellow
Give me a call
You fine looking fellow
I wish I was a bar of soap
Hung upon a string
And everytime you took a bath
I’d see your ding a ling
You kissed me at the garden gate
Your kiss was sweet and tender
And when you went to feel my leg
Bang went my suspender
I love you, I love you, I love you, so mighty
I wish your pyjamas were next to my nightie
Don’t be mistaken, don’t be misled
I mean on the washing line, not in the bed
A ring is round, it has no end
To be your wife, I do intend
Remember Remember
The night at the ball
You missed my lips
And kissed the wall
I want you to know
I LOVE YOU and I want to make you mine
I want this time to last forever
My darling Valentine
I wish I was a bar of soap
And in your bath I’d be
And every time you’d take a bath
Oh what a sight I’d see
A ring is round
A church is square
I hope someday
To meet you there
I love you
I love you
I love you, I do
But don’t get excited, I love monkeys too
Don’t kiss me by the garden gate
Love might be blind
But the neighbours aint
I wish I was a diamond ring upon your dainty hand
And every time you’d scratch your knee
I’d see the promised land
If I were a dog and you were a flower
I’d lift up my leg and give you a shower
2 in a car
2 little kisses
2 months later
Mr and Mrs
Dearest Darling Ducky
Behind your ears are mucky
Never mind love is blind
Dearest Darling Ducky
He kissed me at the garden gate
My mother heard the smack
She handed me a rolling pin
And said here, hit him back!
Paddy stood at the balcony
A rose between his teeth
He threw me down the rose
I threw him back his teeth
Of all the men that I have ever met
You’re the one I can’t forget
Love is like a pot of gold
Hard to get and hard to hold
I wish I was a cigarette
All rolled up nice and neat
And every time you took a pull
Your lips and mine would meet
If I were a polo mint
I’d split myself in two
The mint I’d give to others
But the hole I’d give to you (howling at this one lol)
Roses are Red
Apples are Green
Give us a kiss
Don’t be mean
