Dog Fouling Crackdown for Ringsend

Will you fall foul of the new crack team? Pic:

Will you fall foul of the new crack team?

Dublin City Council announced yesterday that it had finalised its Dog Fouling Monitoring team, which will be in force from today.

The move comes after years of secret planning conducted by officials who have come up short on tackling the problem to date. The issue has become particularly acute of late, when a certain main street in Ringsend could not be navigated without stepping on the doodoo.

A spokesperson for the council announced a range of plans at a hastily arranged conference in Civic Offices yesterday. Amongst the suite of measures, the Dog Fouling Monitoring team will have secret lookouts within Ringsend, night-time park controls, ninja following tactics, as well as the use of a network of spies. The spokesperson would not disclose more top secret operations that were being kept top secret for operational reasons.

The spokesperson remarked that “we are determined to find these dog foulers who have been doing their dirty deeds undeterred for a number of years now.” The spokesperson added that they have a special ‘room’ awaiting the capture of the culprit when they finally take him into custody.

Controversially, an undisclosed portion of the new Poolbeg Incinerator Community Gain Fund will be going to the running of the operation. The CGF was created for the local community and Dublin City Council have seconded some of the fund for this operation, which they state is crucial for the health of the community.

By Ferg Hayden