Pictured: Darth Craig.
And so, ladies and gentlemen of the Dublin 4 Imperium, we have reached the end of the road. For the last two years your friend and humble correspondent, Cranky Craig Kinsella, has regaled you with his angry anecdotes and his tsunami of uplifting love-rants.
But now, the sun is about to set on this reign of terror and I wish to bow out with as little shame as possible.
I would like to say it has been an absolute honour to share my boundless anger with all of you in the hopes that it will make you angry too.
I hope that I have served as a beacon of hope to those who wish to pursue the path less travelled, the road to perdition accompanied by the curmudgeons and the cantankerous!
Ever since I was charged with this sardonic duty, I have attempted to live out this obligation to its logical conclusion, and anyone who says otherwise is a goddamn liar.
From Valentine’s Day to Easter to life in general, no topic was too sacred (within the bounds of reason in a community newspaper, of course), and I would be lying if I said it did not send a certain thrill up my gelatinous spine.
Ever since I started work in NewsFour I have met some incredibly interesting people, gotten to know the area extremely well and realised what a unique place the Dublin 4 area is.
I would like to thank all concerned (you all know who you are, and if you don’t… guess) for providing me with stories, information and the all-important chats!
I hope that my hate-filled tirades also brought some joy to your heart and that you may be inspired to allow your anger to drag you over to the dark side. “Anger is an energy”, as Johnny Rotten once said, and let me assure you that hatred is a wonderful way of getting out of bed in the morning.
Most people always remember their “first love”, but with me it will always be the “first hate,” and I know from experience that many of you out there will agree with that statement. Come on out, don’t be shy.
And so, fair people of the People’s Republic of D4, it is time for me to put on my tattered cowboy hat (where the hell did this come from?) and head for the proverbial hills.
However, who knows? Perhaps we shall cross paths again. Wherever there is injustice in the world, wherever evil makes its mark or… well, if there’s ever just a really banal reason to have a rant, all you shall have to do is project the Bat Signal into the night sky and await the arrival of the BlitzCraig.
It shall be an emotional moment leaving the office I must say, and to leave all of you. But we shall all meet again one day in that great community newspaper in the sky. I assure you, if I had a heart, this is where it would break. Keep it real.
By Craig Kinsella
