Continuing our New NewsFour Fiction: “Holiday Thrills”

Welcome back, Mommy and Daddy, we are so excited to tell you about Uncle Mick that we cannot meow.  We have to write instead.  Apparently, you told Aunty Nicola that he is a big doggie fan and does not like us cats and to protect us while you were away, but you were so wrong.  He truly loves us and wants us to have great adventures in life.

He gave us a wonderful day on Friday, full of thrills and love and Aunty Nicola too!  She is such a great actress; the reels of Hollywood have utterly lost a star. She left for work at the usual time and we were dreading the long boring day ahead; then about ten thirty we heard Uncle Mick singing a song of welcome from the back garden.  He told us that he had come over to give us a surprise and wasn’t Aunty Nicola so good not to spoil it.

He is such a joker.  He told us to jump from the bathroom window and that he would catch us but the messer dropped his arms at the last minute just before we were going to hit the ground.  He obviously knew us kitties always land safely on our feet.

Saying we deserved a day out in Howth for being so good while you were away, he brought us to Lansdowne Road station.  When we got there, however, his Leap Card could not cover the three of us.  He has a bad knee, so we agreed that he should sit on the train.  He is so intelligent and told us to stay on the tracks and run directly in front of the train in case we got lost.

Arriving in Howth, he threw us into the water and told us that you had both arrived home early and wanted to treat us to lunch in Killiney.  Such a joker!  We swam over, and you weren’t there.

We swam back to Howth, but his evil identical twin brother was there instead. He used a long-headed brush to push us back in the water.  Then magic happened.  As a garda walked by the evil brother changed into Mick and he told the guard that he was using the brush to rescue us, which he did.  He is so good.  Oh, the bad language he used, it would shock you!!  His brother must be a very bad man to be called those names.

Next, he showed such confidence in us that he encouraged us to climb the cliff face with no safety equipment.  Waiting for us at the top, the joker pretended to try and push us off, but we landed in a hay lorry passing below.  I’m amazed at his being so clever as to be able to organise that perfect timing.

But he can be such a silly billy.  He wanted to surprise us by camping out on Lambay Island overnight but when we got there he discovered that he had forgotten to bring a tent or food.  He rowed back to the mainland to get them but then forgot to come back to us.  I suppose that he is over fifty now, and getting forgetful, so we forgive him.  If it wasn’t for Aunty Nicola swimming out, we could be writing this from kitty heaven.

Imagine she is so good an actor that she could pretend in front of us to be angry about him, but didn’t he tell us that her family are training to take part in the TV series, Ireland’s Fittest
Please keep this a secret, Mommy and Daddy.  He would be so embarrassed if he thought for a second that you knew of his loving nature.  When we arrive for Christmas dinner in his apartment not only will we be the centre of attention, he is even going to have his warming machine ready in case we are feeling the December chill.

He has asked us to weigh ourselves the day before and text him the result. Imagine being so caring as to need to know the temperature per kilo and the warming time for us.

You should thank the Lord that such a caring, sensitive man is a friend of yours.

Your Furry Babies.

Michael has been a member of the Rathmines Writers’ Group for a number of years.